Monday, May 09, 2011

Sickening, isn't it.

"Isn't it about time you did another blog post?"

"Got nothing to write about."

"Moan about something. I like reading your blog when you're moaning. You were moaning all the time in the car yesterday. All the way back from Southport."

"I only ever write my blog when I'm whingeing about something. Moaning about other drivers doesn't count because that's just normal. I've got nothing else to whine about."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Not even me?"

"Not even you. I've never been more content. Honest. I've absolutely nothing to complain about at all. Anyway, other people moan about you and that's more entertaining."

(Bail out now, it's not getting any better)

"But when you say you want a packet of crisps, I tell you not to."

"You're correct to. I'm overweight. Thank you for your concern and for caring about me. I don't even go in the fridge after you've gone to bed, even if I fancy something with cheese on. Even lots and lots of cheese. And on a Digestive biscuit. There have been two packets of crisps in the pantry for over a month now. You have taught me discipline and a renewed respect for my body. I've lost a stone and a half since you've been here."

"What's that in kilos? I failed maths O level and I lived in Belgium."

"32, at least, my love."




11 Vegetable peelings:

Anonymous Zoe said...

You've forgotten the 3 creme eggs and the big easter egg - that you ate.

And I think you've lied in that post.

10:33 pm  
Blogger WrathofDawn said...

What's that in pounds, then? I live in all-metric, all the time Canada, but have never made the transition to kms for people.

10:58 pm  
Blogger Richard said...

2 creme eggs, you had one. And as you bought them for me it was rude to refuse.

Dawn - just over a mile.

11:07 pm  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

She's nagging you into starvation! Get out now!

1:13 am  
Blogger Tim Footman said...

You were moaning about leaving Southport?

2:15 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Are you still going to be allowed out to play cricket on Saturdays?

6:38 am  
Blogger Richard said...

VS, I can give it back, don't worry.

Tim, you forget where I live.

Dave, knock on about 12.30 and tell her you're a man down.

10:56 am  
Anonymous Clairious Miss said...

You two are funny. And you are smitten.

5:12 pm  
Blogger Daddy Papersurfer said...

I thought I'd leave a comment here as 'someone' gets far too much attention. Obviously you like living on the edge young Richard and to that end you have chosen a very wise path.

8:32 am  
Anonymous voip services said...

You've forgotten the 3 creme eggs and the big easter egg

3:59 am  
Anonymous maldives tour said...

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1:25 pm  

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