Monday, May 09, 2011
"Isn't it about time you did another blog post?"
"Got nothing to write about."
"Moan about something. I like reading your blog when you're moaning. You were moaning all the time in the car yesterday. All the way back from Southport."
"I only ever write my blog when I'm whingeing about something. Moaning about other drivers doesn't count because that's just normal. I've got nothing else to whine about."
"Not even me?"
"Not even you. I've never been more content. Honest. I've absolutely nothing to complain about at all. Anyway, other people moan about you and that's more entertaining."
(Bail out now, it's not getting any better)
"But when you say you want a packet of crisps, I tell you not to."
"You're correct to. I'm overweight. Thank you for your concern and for caring about me. I don't even go in the fridge after you've gone to bed, even if I fancy something with cheese on. Even lots and lots of cheese. And on a Digestive biscuit. There have been two packets of crisps in the pantry for over a month now. You have taught me discipline and a renewed respect for my body. I've lost a stone and a half since you've been here."
"What's that in kilos? I failed maths O level and I lived in Belgium."
"32, at least, my love."