Saturday, April 29, 2006

Reverting to type

Many apologies for this but at the end of the day (see, have to use the correct clichés) I am male, it is Saturday and I can't think of anything else to write about. At least I've got the apologies out early doors. Sport then.

Congratulations to Chelsea. I have a portion of humble pie on order along with a side-order of hubris. They played well although I feel slightly vindicated in my assessment of Mourinho as a mere glory hunter: why on earth throw your championship winners medal into the crowd? When he "survives" the board's statement of its every confidence in him in a couple of years time he may well rue the day he did that; he'll probably have a terrible gambling problem and will need to pledge something because he's got a cert in the 3.50 at Kempton. Foresight, Jose. And get that catarrh sorted, you look like my old newsagent, Mr Patel in that scarf. There, that should sort that other problem - who on earth would want to have that whispering in your ear (that's an in joke - if you're new, go back and find out).

Mixed feelings of course and it was comforting to see the Chelsea celebrations tempered somewhat by the realisation England had just lost the World Cup in the same game. Rooney's chances of making the tournament would now seem only slightly better than mine and as young Michael also looks a bit dodgy I can only thank whatever that it is now summer and we're playing proper games

Very pleased to see that the Mighty Super Kent (as they shall henceforth be known) dismissed Middlesex today in a very matter of fact way. I do hope they've not peaked early as we are getting desperate. For the unitiated, Kent are a proper cricket club. In Robert Key and Matt Walker they are carrying on their fine tradition of supplying very fine but also very lardy batsmen. It is an encouragement to every man who has to pee by feel alone that there are top flight sportsmen in the very same predicament. Sod your macrobiotics, eat spuds.

Very many thanks to all those who have offered condolenc congratulations in the light of the announcement I made the other day. It has come as a great surprise that people are still interested in this sort of thing amongst people of our advanced years. I can guarantee you that there will be no question whatsoever of the patter of tiny feet being heard in this house unless the rat escapes. We are past all that now and children aren't allowed in this house unless they can cook.

Tomorrow we are going all the way to Wales to gawp at the scenery and stay two nights in that hotel I recommended last month. That means I won't be around. As if you cared.

8 Vegetable peelings:

Blogger Sharon J said...

I care very much that you won't be around.

12:40 am  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Oh, for pity's sake Sharon, cut the quasi-romantic twaddle. He's going to Wales for a holiday. I will manage.

7:18 am  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Hey! Have you gone yet? Did you remember to leave a posting on the time-delay function on blogger? Chelsea, goats, engagements - anything to ward off the long cold evenings of early May.

7:19 am  
Blogger Richard said...

No we're away after lunch. I've no idea how the time delay function works and indeed that there was one. I'm also trying to work out who she's talking about because I thought she was coming with me. We'll be back on Tuesday, I suspect you'll manage OK. Absence and all that.

10:07 am  
Blogger krusty the baker said...

Congratulations. Both. Good that cricket is back, isn't it? As a native of the town of Warwick, I'm equally pleased at the good start that Warwickshire have made. I too delight in any defeat of Middlesex, as I have still not forgiven them for a highly suspect pasting they got in the early nineties which cost Warwickshire the County Championship, as Middlesex handed over all the bonus points needed to keep a victory in the south east.

The irony of this is that I now live in Middlesex.

10:57 pm  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

You must find the time delay function.
It is great. I have been dead for seven years.

6:57 am  
Blogger Sharon J said...

Did you enjoy your break amongst the baby lambs, Richard?

1:18 am  
Blogger Mark Gamon said...

Ossie seems to have said everything I wanted to say in this comment, so I'll just echo him:

Shame about Rooney. But never mind - if we're going to do well in the World Cup, we're just as likely to do it with Joe Cole.

11:06 am  

Post a Comment

<< Home